


The Curse of the Big Bunny

by Winterstar



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterstar/pseuds/Winterstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah, Tony makes a mistake when he buys a Christmas present for Steve. Or does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curse of the Big Bunny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Digitalwave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digitalwave/gifts).



“What is that?”

“A bed.”

A sigh, Steve actually sighs at him. “I know it’s a bed, Tony. But-.”

“No, buts, but yes actually your butt is a good butt. But only that kind of butt, if you get me.” He flicks his eyebrows a few times at his very own Capsicle.

Steve bows his head and waits a moment before looking back up at Tony. His arms are crossed. This is never a good sign. “Why is that thing called a bed?”

“Is this a trick question?” Tony asks, because, truthfully he’s not exactly sure he knows how to answer the question at all.

“Look at it; it’s almost as big as the room.”

“Almost but I thought it would be a good idea to have some room to get around it. Makes it easier for Sylvia to make the bed.”

“Sylvia?”

“The bedroom bot.”

“We have a bedroom bot?”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

That low growl gurgling from Steve’s throat must be a sign that he’s hungry or something. He can’t be angry with Tony. Not for this wonderful Christmas gift.

“Why is it in our bedroom?”

“Because it would be silly in the kitchen?” Tony says and tilts his head. “Are you suggesting we should do public displays of affection that lead to public displays of doing the nasty? Because I’m down with that.”

“What?” Steve literally, yes literally, throws his hands up. He places them on his hips like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Tony’s a little worried that the idea of punching Tony has actually crossed Steve’s mind. “You know talking to you could try a saint’s patience.”

“Try talking to you,” Tony mutters. “Like talking to my grandpa.” When Tony looks over at Steve again, he’s actively trying to rub his face off. “What?”

“Why is there a huge bed in our room?” Steve yells then hyperventilates a few times and finally says. “Pepper told me something like this would happen. She said something about the big bunny.”

Shit, shit, shit. All systems go into panic mode as Tony realizes he really fucked up this time. Any mention of the bunny – the fucking huge rabbit – rings in Tony’s head like he’s the fucking clappers for the Bells of St. Mary’s – where ever the fuck that is. 

Steve isn’t letting up. “Look at it, it’s huge!” Steve toes off his shoes and walks right over to it and onto it. There’s nothing else in the room. Tony had to have everything moved out, special bedding made for it. It cost a fucking fortune. He should be pissed off; instead he’s about ready to have a god damned heart attack because his boyfriend doesn’t like his Christmas gift. 

Steve traipses around on it like he’s an astronaut checking out the low gravity on the moon. “What the hell will we ever do with a bed this big?”

This should have been Tony’s clue, because Steve never swears if he can help it. Plus the fact that Steve is looking in the opposite direction, never facing Tony. Steve has no poker face. But this doesn’t penetrate Tony’s head at the moment. The only thing that does are the words big bunny. 

He has to get this under control – right now. He steps up to the bed and says, “Listen, I sometimes do these things, you know, they’re out there and I think it’s a great and grand gesture and everything, but it falls flat and this is one of those tim-.”

Steve is jumping on the bed.

Up and down, up and down.

“Times,” Tony finishes and frowns.

Not only is Steve jumping on the bed, but he’s throwing around a whee every now and then. What the fuck?

Tony shakes his head. “You’re fucking with me.”

Steve flips in the air and turns around as he does like a perfect gymnast. “Gotta ya.”

Tony shucks his shoes and joins Steve on the bed. “How long have you known about the bed?”

“Few days,” Steve says and hasn’t stopped jumping. It’s true if Steve jumps on one side of the bed, Tony isn’t disturbed. Which is good because Tony is already upset, disturbed – whatever the fuck you want to call it. He needs wine and bourbon and scotch, just not all at once.

“How?”

“Clint,” Steve says and does a somersault again. He’s using the bed like his own personal gym. “This is kind of fun.”

“I’m gonna kill bird boy.”

Steve stops and hops over to Tony. He’s red in the face and panting from all the leaping around. A bit of perspiration dampens his t-shirt, that probably isn’t from the antics on the bed, but from his morning workout that Tony interrupted on this wondrous Christmas Eve. 

He looks glorious as he grabs Tony about the waist and says, “Oh no, no you are not. You’re going to completely and utterly debauch me in this big monstrosity of a bed you bought, and then I’m going to return the favor.”

He winks at Tony as he drags him down to the bed. Tony falls hard on Steve’s chest but it doesn’t faze him. 

“You know, it was nice when you were all innocent and naïve.”

“Was it now?” Steve nibbles on Tony’s earlobe. His hand finds its way down to Tony’s pants, to sneak under his waistband. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this, then.”

Speech escapes him and only a mangled grunt comes out. His eyes roll back in his head.

“I shouldn’t, should I?” Steve whispers and moves slightly away. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Tony grabs onto Steve and kisses him soundly. When he parts he says, “I thought I was going to debauch you.”

“Give it your best shot,” Steve says it like a challenge.

The kiss steals both their breaths and they come up panting and hungry for air. 

“Merry Christmas, Steve.”

“Merry Christmas, Tony.” And he does that thing with his hand again that sends Tony into the farthest reaches of the galaxy and maybe, just maybe into a tiny bit of Hell because nothing about _that_ is saintly. 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know.....Merry Christmas? (One day late)
> 
> Follow me on [ tumblr](http://winterstar95.tumblr.com) or not, your choice!
> 
> Now back to writing a sequel to one of my many stories........


End file.
